Ka’asher Ahavti Etchem — “As I Have Loved You”

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“Who’s the Star?”

The little girl waddles toward the tree, swarmed by gifts and glitters. She looks up at the very top and beams at it. Her little heart is filled with stars, radiating off of her like a halo.

In a split second, a hand appears in front of her. His wrist pierced as though a nail dug through it and wept with tears of thick crimson. The hand stretches to her, holding a rose without a single thorn in sight. Its stem is smooth and comforting than sharp and wounding.

When she accepts it, the lights go out, her surroundings covered in black as dark as the world outside of this room. Her sight catches the star, no longer held by the tree but hung in heaven.

She hears a baby’s cry along with the bleats and moos and neighs. She steps on the hay filled with dirt and mud. The little baby reaches for His mom, seeking comfort and warmth. His wrist is holed. His palm closed around His mom’s finger as if to hide the name on it…

Bel.

“You asked who the Star is?” a tall Man asks, His white robe reflecting all the combined existing light in the night sky.

The little girl sees the Baby’s mother cry, tears after tears, tracing the engraved shadows of the names on His palm. The mother gazes at His face as she counts the seconds they have left…

Before she watches her Baby to be spat on with hate,

Before she looks up to her Baby upon the cross to let the world take His life,

Before she witnesses her Baby wail for being rejected.

Before she beholds the sight of her Baby rising and still looks at us with love.

The Man holds out His hand, the names now reach to His visible arms—chiseled into His skin—that fade into light. “Let’s go, Bel?” He asks.

Bel giggles heartily and accepts His hand. “Star!” She points the rose to Him and sees flower thorns on His head. He twirls Bel around and holds her hand warmly as they come home.

The hand that once sought her mom’s comfort in the manger is the same hand that seeks to hold you.

Written and Illustrated by Mae Adelaine Alarcon, Associate Literary Editor